It’s always a difficult time when someone in your partner’s family passes away, your partner will need as much comfort as possible in their time of mourning.
But what about if the deaths are constant and they ruin holidays, birthdays and days out?
That’s what happened with this man, user rufflpuffl, who took to the popular internet forum “AITA” (which stands for am I the a** hole) to get some opinions from strangers on the internet.
He said: “My GF has a huge, I really mean HUGE family with dozens and dozens of uncles, aunts, cousins 2nd 3rd 4th grade who also have brothers and sisters and so on, you get the point. In her family, everyone cares for everyone.
“This also means that they share their sadness if someone does, what happens pretty often, which is leading to the point.
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He continued: “I have to pray that someone doesn’t die. In the seven years we’ve been together, some special private days were crushed because someone had died.
“We had to cancel holidays because someone died. Since we were together so many of her “family members” died and she was in tears for days. (I’ve put it into quotes because in my opinion family members are just the really close ones like parents, brother and my first grade cousins etc.)”
Although peeved, the man understands how he may sound to others. He said:
“Someone HAS to destroy it because he dies. I even feel how selfish this sounds as I write this, but I feel like her feelings for the family if someone dies are WAY over the top.
“Like, yeah, you can say “damn that’s sad” and be shocked – but she is completely in her own world of sadness for days after which affects the life of everyone around her – basically me and her family.”
“AITA because I don’t commiserate with her and I’m just annoyed as hell because some died (again) and crashed our or my plans and I feel like her reaction is way over top?”
It was now time for the internet to express their opinions, with the common answer being ‘NTA’ which stands for ‘not the a** hole.’
The abbreviations below explain each possible answer for AITA:
You’re the a** hole (& the other party is not) = YTA
You’re Not the a** hole (& the other party is) = NTA
Everyone sucks here = ESH
No a** holes here = NAH
Not enough info = INFO
One user replied: “NTA I’ve dated someone with a massive family like you described and it just becomes unbearable at some point.
“Every. Single. Cousin’s. Birthday.
“Every. Single. Aunt & Uncle’s. Anniversary.
“Every. Single. Minor. Holiday.
“And God forbid someone has a child.”
Another replied saying: “I moved 2000 miles away from where most of my family lives. My mom’s side is huge, and it’s not that I don’t love them or anything, but it’s been kind of nice to be more detached from whatever’s going on.”
‘NAH’ was another popular answer, which basically means it’s no one’s fault, not even the girlfriend’s.
One user said: “NAH. I just want to say that you need to realize this will never, ever stop. If you’re frustrated now, imagine yourself in another five years.”
The internet has spoken, it would seem the man isn’t in the wrong at all for being annoyed over the many deaths in his girlfriend’s family.